Monday, March 8, 2010

Just in case you missed it...


The typically tight belt of the McCaskey family was loosened quite a bit on Friday when the Chicago Bears signed premiere free agent defensive end Julius Peppers away from the Carolina Panthers. The price tag is reported to be 6 years at $91.5 million with a league record $42 million of that in guaranteed money. How did Peppers celebrate his new found wealth? By taking in the Bulls/Mavericks game at the United Center before buying everyone in attendance at local hotspot Crescendo a bottle of champagne including 3 bottles of Ace of Spades Rose for himself and his guests. Total price for this celebratory night out - about $18,000. Let's just hope that Julius is as liberal with his quarterback sacks as he is with his wealth.

The 82nd Annual Academy Awards took place last night at the Kodak Theater in Los Angeles, CA. Nothing like a bunch of rich, famous, self-righteous stars engaging in self-congratulatory praise after another year of pimping out the masses. I watched a grand total of 2 minutes and 15 seconds of this pretentious charade.

I viewed Alice in Wonderland in beautiful, breathtaking IMAX 3-D at Navy Pier. Before I even saw the movie I had a run in with the Jabbawocke in the person of a neurotic prick from some local Chicagoland suburb who insisted that I was staring at him and hitting on his girlfriend. After both I and his girlfriend assured Mel Gibson's cousin that nothing of the sort was taking place, I descended upon the spacious theater and was summarily underwhelmed - by the movie because that dude's girlfriend was extremely hot and way too good for him.

I'm a huge fan of both Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass but I can't help but to feel that more time was spent on the special effects (which weren't all that fabulous) than on melding the plots together. I did emerge from the movie with a greater appreciation for the plight of strong women who venture into traditionally male professions as personified by the character of Alice. I also came out of the viewing with a slightly unhealthy erotic fetish for The Red Queen. The ruthless expression of her authority coupled with the Tourettes-like use of the famous expression "Off with their heads!" elicited several boners throughout the entire production. I hope to meet, but never cross, a woman like The Red Queen in the near future. The White Queen, although very pretty and a tremendous caricature of the virtue of morality in teh face of imposing odds, turned me off with her vows to never hurt a living creature and such. Certain types of pain can be invigorating.

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